Well, the fever's gone (as of yesterday morning, actually - so I did end up going to work). No new cold or flu symptoms yet, either. I'm not really sure what was going on, but he seems to be mostly back to normal (maybe a little crankier than usual - just teething?). So, it seems that we've dodged that bullet...for now. He gets his first flu shot in mid-November - hopefully, we can stave off illness until then.
I did have kind of a major break down yesterday. I feel like I'm missing so much of Marley's growth and development all week long. And, although his caregivers (including Jeff) are AMAZING, they don't do things exactly as I would. How could they be expected to? Mars is a happy, healthy little boy, but I can't help feeling like somewhat of a neglectful mother. Not to mention that it's a long week, and by Friday I miss him like crazy! Jeff pointed out to me that every working mom in history has probably gone through the same thing. I wish I knew how they did it.
4 comments:
Yep.... it is the curse that comes with loving your kids, loving your job. I'm more concerned with moms who don't mind going off to work, don't miss their kids, everyday. You adjust, you cope, but you never really get used to it. And major breakdowns are fine. Enjoy every minute of your weekend and time together!
Nancy
You are totally normal!!! If my mom wasn't taking care of Kent and doing SUCH a wonderful job of it I think I would feel more conflicted. Focus on the built in blessing of teaching-- the long vacations. Most working moms don't get even close to that. Summers are what help me feel better adjusted. Research actually has shown that working moms spend more "quality time" with their kids than stay at home moms. Interesting research.
That is a very hard situation to be in. but think of it this way.....home w/ Marley, or bread, milk, and butter? hee hee. =) I completely agree with Carol- By being a teacher, you have definite perks. Summer is the biggest one. but there's also mid-winter and Spring break. And all the little holidays in between. Not to mention the set hours....no required overtime like other jobs may have. Would you consider putting Marley in a daycare that's near by your work area so you can pop in and see him during lunch time?
I also agree w/ Nancy- the fact that you feel bad shows what an incredible mother you are. Cherish the times you have together. You have a wonderful son! (Who still looks nothing like Jeff) =)
I have thought so much about what you say. I miss my babies too :-)
But I know they are all fine, they are still growing, and there are many things I miss seeing them do. Yet, I can say I too am Totally comfortable with the people who take care of them.
Love with all my heart,
Your Mother (and Mothers all around the world)
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