Is this thing on?

Hello? 

[clears throat]

[peers out into the darkness]

[crickets chirping]

[crochet hooks clicking]

Oh. Hi, Mom.  I didn't see you sitting there.  In the front row.  In the dark.

Well, uh, [mumbles apologies].

Anyway, just in case anyone else is out there...

[futilely searches the darkness]

We're still back from our trip.  The kids were sick.  

I had a lovely Mother's Day.  Amelia turned two. 

 Marley is finishing up preschool.  

And I'm growing a penis.

*gigglesnort*

Sorry, Mom.  

[hangs head shamefully]

I'm also growing the cute baby that it's attached to, of course.  

Okay, he might not look that cute yet, but just give it another six months.

Goodnight, Mom.